Thirty Questions To Help Make Sense Out Of Self-Esteem

By Steve Wilson

Copyright 1998

Facilitators, educators, human resources trainers, scout and youth leaders, and other group leaders can use some or all of these questions to spark thoughtful discussions and healthy interactions about self-esteem. There are questions that could appeal to every age (some may need a bit of creative adaptation).

1. Self-esteem is
2. Self-worth is
3. Self -confidence is
4. When do you feel your highest self-esteem? Describe the place, situation, etc.
5. What is it about other people that "invites" your self-esteem?
6. How do act when you have good self-esteem?
7. How would an observer describe you when your self-esteem is high?
8. Can you remember a painful/negative experience you had which involved self- esteem? What made it painful/negative?
9. Have you ever observed another person having a painful/negative experience with self-esteem? What made it painful/negative?
10. What is your favorite way of esteeming others? What do you like about it?
11. What one word do you most associate with "self"?
12. What one word do you most associate with "worth"?
13. How do your ideas about self-esteem reflect your lifestyle?
14. Where do you get your self-esteem?
15. Among the people you know, who has the best self-esteem? What makes it so good?
16. How are self-esteem and family dysfunction related?
17. How do your ideas about self-esteem reflect your personality?
18. How do your ideas about self-esteem reflect your life experiences?
19. How do your ideas about self-esteem reflect your values?
20. Self-esteem, either you have it or your don't. True or False, and Why?
21. Once you have high self-esteem it doesn't change. True or False, and Why?
22. High self-esteem is conceited or egotistical. True or False, and Why?
23. What advice would you give to someone who wanted to develop their self- esteem?
24. What blocks or gets in the way of you having better self-esteem?
25. Can you recall a childhood memory related to self-esteem?
26. How are self-esteem and happiness related?
27. How are self-esteem and being perfect related?
28. What thoughts do you have about the differences between the way men and women view self-esteem?
29. What thoughts do you have about how self-esteem helps you meet the challenges of life?
30. What are the "key ingredients" to good self-esteem?

Here are nine ways to use these questions:

• Ice-breakers
• To increase self-awareness
• To de-bunk myths about self-esteem
• As a classroom exercise in values clarification
• As part of human relations training
• As part of individual, group or family counseling
• To help parents and children understand each other better
• Add them to your existing self-esteem class exercises
• Gather the group's responses and post them for all to see

What other ways can you think of to use these questions? What other questions can you think of? Let me know and we can share your ideas with our readers in a future issue of Self-Esteem Today.