How To Be Happier Every Day

By Steve Wilson, MA, Psychologist

Copyright 1997

I turned fifty-six this year; have been a card-carrying member of AARP for the past five years; a grandfather; and, the recipient of endless junk mail offers for various "medi-gap" insurance schemes. The doctor checks my vital signs quarterly and we've instituted an annual PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) test. I need my HPOV -Humorous Point Of View-- now more than ever. Let me give you a few examples. HPOV: I notice that in my generation, the men are getting a little gray and a little bald, and the women are pre-maturely blonde. HPOV: My ankles crackle. My spine "pops". My knees creak and snap. I've decided that I'm not getting older, I'm getting noisier. HPOV: I'm telling everyone that I'm sixty-six. I figure that I may not look so good for fifty-six, but I look absolutely terrific for sixty-six! I invent some of the HPOV one-liners, but many come from other people, especially the rich resources provided by aging comedians. Have you ever noticed how many comedians live to be 80, 90 or even become centenarians?

Well, some scientific researchers are keeping an eye on this phenomenon to verify the connection between laughter and longevity. George Burns said, "You don't stop playing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop playing." Keep laughter, a playful attitude, and "fun" activities in your life every day. It improves your health because when yo laugh your brain chemistry changes. This in turn has a positive effect on every system in your body.

Here is a baker's dozen of ways to be happier every day.

1. Do NOT watch TV news at bedtime or first thing in the morning. Sensationalized presentation of news events at these psychologically vulnerable times will cause you more than the usual amount of upsetting thoughts.
2. The same goes for newspapers. If you must read the newspaper first thing in the morning or last thing at night, limit yourself to only the comics and humorous columnists or, at least, read these first and last, and read the "news" in between.
3. When you awake each day, before you get out of bed, think of three things you are grateful for. This puts you in a positive frame of mind for the rest of the day. Develop an attitude of gratitude through this daily practice.
4. Smile often. There is evidence that a smiling facial expression may change your emotions to pleasant and change your thoughts to optimism.
5. Stand up for your rights. Don't accept shoddy service or disrespectful treatment from waiters, clerks, doctors. Show a little spunk. Be a little feisty. You might not live longer for it, but you will maintain your self- esteem.
6. Follow a routine of physical exercise. A little every day. Walk when you can. Ride a bike. Get some fresh air as often as you can.
7. Create and maintain a social contact system. At least a couple of times each week, spend time with like-minded people who are interesting, active, and have interests in common with you.
8. Combine social stimulation with humor by attending The Comedy Club for Seniors in Columbus, Ohio. For information call Betty Rogers, 614-890-6621.
9. Challenge yourself to keep on learning. Contact local colleges and Elder Hostel groups for information about continuing education.
10. Make a list of dreams and goals still to be accomplished, such as trips you'd like to take and sights you'd like to see. Have at least one "fun" special event planned to do every six weeks. "Fun plans" act like magnets and pull you to the future.
11. Give some time and effort to helping others. The quickest way to make yourself happy is to help someone else find a little more happiness. It has been said that happiness is like perfume, you can't sprinkle it on other people without getting a little on yourself.
12. Practice forgiveness. Don't hold grudges. Keep a sense of perspective and have compassion on the imperfect souls who inhabit this planet. Forgiveness does not mean giving your approval, it means releasing the kind of anger that makes your stomach churn and your blood pressure boil.
13. Take yourself lightly. Instead of getting annoyed when I can't remember a name or phone number, or when a word escapes me in mid-sentence, I merely say, "Pardon me, I'm having a senior moment."