Happiness Is An Inside Job

By Steve Wilson, Psychologist & JOYOLOGIST

Copyright 1997, All Rights Reserved

I am delighted when some people are finally disillusioned. Over the course of thirty-three years of practicing psychology, I have seen more than my share of people who have acquired mountains of material possessions but remain miserable, depressed, angry, unsatisfied, and sometimes, desperate. In many of those cases, their disillusion is a hopeful sign because disillusion literally means then end of illusionment. If a person has been living under the illusion that happiness would come from having whatever they wanted, then the end of that illusion brings the possibility that they might realize that happiness actually means wanting what they already have; being free from the desire to acquire.

Hunger is the body's signal to take in food. Thirst signals the need to take in water. Fatigue is nature's way of telling us to take a rest. The remedy for neglect of the body is often through the in-take of something, so the solution lies in getting something from the external world. On the other hand, there is a kind of unhappiness that cannot be repaired by getting because it requires giving. There is a kind of dissatisfaction, disappointment, and absence of joy that is remedied by giving something out, doing something for others.

Happiness, the feeling of deep-down joy of life, and feeling really good about yourself, comes not from acquiring, but by contributing. Serenity comes from getting on good terms with one's imperfection, accepting ones' limitations, and accepting what one cannot change.

Self-esteem, your true worth or value, is not measured by your financial statement, job title, or trophies on a shelf. You are precious because you are a creation of the highest order of intelligence. If you forget the true source of your preciousness, eventually you will experience an emptiness, a gnawing hunger. There are not enough gold, jewels, cellular phones, sport-utility vehicles, big-screen TVs, or anything material to nourish the soul. The spirit can only be filled by giving, not by getting.

Happiness is an inside job that consists of

• becoming disillusioned that material acquisition is a measure of your worth
• remembering who you really are (precious)
• finding your source
• laughing often
• serving with love